Contact: 07864 967555
Email: cosmoscounselling@gmail.com
Young Person and Adult Counsellor / Psychotherapist
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- You've Got a Nerve, a Vagus Nerve!
The vagus nerve is a superhighway of communication between your brain and your body, affecting your mood, digestion, heart, and immunity. The vagus nerve, also known as the tenth cranial nerve or cranial nerve X, is the longest nerve of the autonomic nervous system which controls involuntary body functions. It is tasked with regulating critical body functions such as heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and digestion. The vagus nerve carries motor and sensory information to different organ systems of the body, including: Cardiovascular system, including the heart and major blood vessels Respiratory system, including the lungs and airways Digestive system, including the throat, esophagus, stomach, and intestines It also provides sensory information to the skin and muscles which, in turn, stimulates reflex actions like coughing, sneezing, swallowing, gagging, and vomiting. The sensory information stimulates body functions like sweating, salivating, mucus production, and the urge to urinate. For those who do not have access to a VNS device or want a more natural approach to treatment, there are practices which may help manage autonomic dysfunction. These at-home treatments are thought to stimulate the vagus nerve by slowing the heart rate and reducing emotional stresses that can trigger or worsen vagus nerve disorders. Examples include: Deep breathing exercises: Slow, conscious breathing is thought to stimulate the vagus nerve, not only improving heart rate and blood pressure but also easing digestion.7 Mindfulness exercises: These include practices like yoga and tai chi in which respiration is synchronized with body movements. Some studies suggest such practices can improve vagal nerve tone, leading to a slower heart rate and lower blood pressure. Foot reflexology: This massage-based practice has been shown to slow heart rate and respiration, lower blood pressure, and increase oxygen saturation, suggesting that it positively stimulates the vagus nerve. Music therapy: It is thought certain types of music can positively influence moods and elicit a beneficial autonomic response. This may be especially true with low-frequency sounds delivered with slow, rhythmically structured music. Cold-water immersion: Facial immersion in cold water is thought to indirectly stimulate the vagus nerve. This is evidenced by the fact that, after the initial shock of cold, the heart rate will begin to slow. Open-water swimming may have the same effect. It is unclear whether any of these techniques directly stimulate the vagus nerve in the same way as electrical VMS, but each is known to trigger a positive physiological response that can help relieve stress and improve moods.
- Attached to Your Phone?
A subject I get asked about regularly. Just how bad is phone addiction today? How does it impact our young people and all of our relationships? How do you feel when someone you are engaging with keeps looking at their phone? I don't take my phone into sessions - every noise takes my attention including every vibration. Like Pavlov's dogs, we have respond to the sound... So, are you making others feel less important than a device? This video is from the Banca Mediolanum National Convention, May 2023. Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Check out his other videos.
- Smart or Stupid?
Cell phone addiction, also known as smartphone addiction, is a nonclinical term used to describe problematic phone use, or excessive phone use that interferes with health or daily life. According to recent research, an estimated 10 to 20 percent of people report feeling addicted to their phones, and experiencing distress or impairment as a result. compulsive phone use: when a person feels compelled to use their cell phone in excess nomophobia: fear of going without your phone textaphrenia: fear of being unable to receive or send texts The existence of cell phone addiction is a topic that has been hotly debated by mental health and addiction experts. It is not currently recognised as a type of disorder or addiction. However, there are reports of compulsive cell phone use, particularly with smartphones. You might have a cell phone problem if you: spend the majority of time on your phone (outside of work or academic use) experience significant distress or impairment as a result of your phone use have unsuccessfully tried to limit phone use neglect friends, family, and other relationships due to phone use frequently feel your phone alerting you when it’s not (i.e. phantom vibrations) continue to use your phone in excess despite negative effects on health, work, academic performance, or relationships feel unable to reduce or control phone use There is help. Seeking support from a qualified and experienced counsellor or psychotherapist is a beginning. Check: | BACP or Counselling Directory - Find a Counsellor Near You (counselling-directory.org.uk)
- You and Your Ego
I enjoy listening to Eckhart Tolle. Here he talks through the story of Narcissus explaining how the ego impacts our view of ourselves and how to find freedom from that suffering. Eckhart Tolle Now, Eckhart’s online community, offers his new in-depth teachings every month, practical Q&A sessions with Eckhart, and member-only discounts on Eckhart’s online programs. There is a FREE 10-DAY TRIAL to Eckhart Tolle Now: https://members.eckharttolle.com/10-d... Eckhart Tolle is widely recognised as one of the most inspiring and visionary spiritual teachers in the world today. With his international bestsellers, The Power of Now and A New Earth—translated into more than 50 languages—he has introduced millions to the joy and freedom of living life in the present moment. The New York Times has described him as “the most popular spiritual author in the United States,” and in 2011, Watkins Review (now Watkins Mind Body Spirit) named him “the most spiritually influential person in the world.” Eckhart’s profound yet simple teachings have helped countless people around the globe experience a state of vibrantly alive inner peace in their daily lives. His teachings focus on the significance and power of Presence, the awakened state of consciousness, which transcends ego and discursive thinking. Eckhart sees this awakening as the essential next step in human evolution.
- How To Get Into Your Body
I recommend somatic experiencing exercises which can be quite the transformative journey. Watch Dr Arianne Missimer guide you through three powerful somatic exercises designed to help you break free from the mental chatter in our heads and reconnect with your body's wisdom. Whether you're seeking stress relief, mindfulness, or simply a deeper sense of presence, these exercises are your gateway. Join us as we explore gentle movements, breath awareness, and mindful stretches that will anchor you to the present moment. Remember we are focusing on our inner bodily experience rather than how 'effective' the stretch is. Timestamp: 00:00 I ntroduction 00:14 What You Need To Know About Somatic Experiencing 00:56 1st Somatic Exercise: Butterfly Hug 01:53 2nd Somatic Exercise: Wipe Away 02:37 3rd Somatic Exercise: Goddess #somatics #somaticexercises
- Out of Your Mind is Great!
Lebo Grand is a South African author and speaker. The quote above is a thought-provoking one. It suggests that we should focus on our physical experiences and sensations rather than getting lost in our thoughts and worries. By doing so, we can enjoy life more fully and be more present in the moment. Babette Rothschild in 'The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment talks about the symptomatology of PTSD: "In PTSD a traumatic event is not remembered and relegated to one's past in the same way as other life events. Trauma continues to intrude with visual, auditory, and/or other somatic reality on the lives of its victims. Again and again they relieve the life-threatening experiences they suffered, reacting in mind and body as though such events were still occurring. PTSD is a complex psychobiological condition.” ― Babette Rothschild, The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment Somatic exercises are one way of working with the body - focusing on our inner world: our bodily sensations including our breathing - so we can relax our bodies and release the tension.
- Remember To Be
I’ve been working on being present in whatever I’m currently doing. As someone who is generally very busy and likes to pride myself on being a great multitasker, just being present can be a challenge. When undertaking a routine task, I’m often checking my phone, reading something, assessing my to-do list or schedule mentally, or thinking about what I’m going to do next. This is so inefficient and also draining on your brain and l eads to feeling stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed. Taking away multitasking, there is huge value in just pausing - breathing, being still, and being present in the moment. It’s restorative, relaxing and healthy. Yes, it is challenging but it’s something I value and aim to do regularly throughout the day. I encourage you to work on it, too – whether it’s methodically single-tasking, consciously reminding yourself to be present, meditating, or anything else, try to be present this week. Try sitting with your tea or coffee and bring your mind into the present. Yes, minds wander so bring it back to the present when you become aware of it wandering off. Like a muscle, it get's easier and stronger and more effective, the more often we do it. It is a practise. Remember … we are human beings, not human doings!
- What is Self-Harm?
Zainab, Lechelle, Debbie and Ben talk about their experience of self-harm, what causes it, how it feels and how they think people can help. I came across this video from MIND on a recent Self-harm and Suicide training. There are various ways people can self-harm but how to stop it? For many, distraction can be a useful place to start: Different distractions work for different people, and the same technique won't necessarily work for you every time. As distracting yourself from fear is very different to distracting yourself from anger, it's important that you have a number of different strategies to choose from. The following are simply suggestions. Writing your own personal list of distractions that you've found helpful or that you would like to try out is a good idea. For Anger and Frustration: You could try: exercise hit cushions shout and dance shake tear something up into hundreds of pieces go for a run. Expressing your anger physically, or by doing things like shouting, won't work for everyone and could intensify feelings. Try things out and continue with any that have a positive effect. Sadness or Fear: You could try: wrapping a blanket around you spend time with a pet walk in nature let yourself cry or sleep listen to soothing music tell someone how you feel massage your hands lie in a comfortable position and breathe in – then breathe out slowly, making your out-breath longer than your in-breath. Repeat until you feel more relaxed. Check the Mindfulness or meditation blogs. A Need to Control: You could try: writing lists tidy up declutter write a letter saying everything you are feeling, then tear it up weed a garden clench then relax all your muscles. Numbness or Disconnection: You could try: flicking elastic bands or hair bands on your wrists hold ice cubes or bags of peas smell something with strong odour have a very cold shower. Shame: You could try: stop spending time with anyone who treats you unkindly recognise when you are trying to be perfect and accept that making mistakes is part of being human remind yourself that there are reasons for how you behave – it is not because you are 'bad'. Self-Hatred and Punishment: You could try: write a letter from the part of you that feels the self-hatred, then write back with as much compassion and acceptance as you can find creative ways to express the self-hatred, through writing songs or poetry, drawing, movement or singing do physical exercise (like running or dancing) to express the anger that is turned in on yourself. No-one can do this for you. This is the first step and only you can do it. Yes, there are others out there that can help and support you. Find out if there are counsellors at your school, college, university or work place. Maybe you have medical insurance that could help you. Check out if there is a counselling service near by - some offer low cost if money is an issue. Don't forget your GP too.
- Imperfection is Beauty!
American actress, Marilyn Monroe was also a model and singer. She is seen by many as an iconic figure. Many of her quotes are well known - about beauty, love, life, success. She is both inspirational and motivational. Marilyn, born Norma Jeane Baker, was born on June 1, 1926, in Los Angeles, California, United States, and died on August 4, 1962, in Brentwood, Los Angeles, California. Her husbands include James Dougherty (m. 1942–1946), Joe DiMaggio (m. 1954–1955) and Arthur Miller (m. 1956–1961). So, what is she saying here? Imperfection is beautiful! Genius could be seen as madness - who hasn't had a mad idea that turned out well? And ridiculousness gets remembered whereas playing it safe? If you don't want to be remembered, then no problem!
- Do Clothes Maketh The Man?
We all wear clothes. Even those of a nudist or naturist persuasion, have to wear clothes some of the time. So, the clothes we choose to wear constitute some of our most crucial and carefully chosen lines of autobiography. They say a lot about us whether it be style, colour or combination. The wonderful School of Life examine why our clothes matter. Let's face it, fashion is a huge industry, and we can have a lot of fun playing dress up! "Once, we were all dressed by someone else. Parents picked out a T-shirt; the school dictated what colour our trousers should be. But at some point, we were granted the opportunity to discover who we might be in the world of clothes. We had to decide for ourselves about collars and necklines, fit, colours, patterns, textures and what goes (or doesn’t) with what. We learnt to speak about ourselves in the language of garments. Despite the potential silliness and exaggeration of sections of the fashion industry, assembling a wardrobe is a serious and meaningful exercise." You can read more on this and other subjects on the School of Life blog, here: https://goo.gl/l4eHTH
- Confidence Begins With A Smile
Interestingly, science is a little closer to understanding the brain chemistry behind our love of clothes, and as it turns out, our outfits may influence how we approach and interact with the world. Early findings from a study published on the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology's website, people who wore white coats that they thought belonged to doctors performed better on tests than those who were dressed in street clothes, or those who thought the coats were associated with artists. Their heightened focus was evident only when subjects actually put on the coat in question, not just when they were in the same room. It’s no secret that putting together an outfit is like selecting social armour, and that what we wear has influence over others - if there weren’t truth to the cliché “lady in red,” designers wouldn’t be making so many scarlet dresses! This study, however, demonstrates if you have a strong cultural association with an item of clothing, wearing it can affect your cognitive processes. This phenomenon is called 'enclothed cognition', meaning that if your brain links Armani or Paul Smith collections with powerful, intelligent women, you’re likely to take on those attributes when you wear that beautifully cut suit or quirky, tailored jacket.
- Should I Stay or Should I Go?
One of the most troubling situations we can experience is whether we should stay in a relationship or split. I am not talking about relationships that are destructive or where both of you want very different things but relationships that are generally pretty good but maybe not quite right. Where there are niggles. No one is perfect. Are you expecting too much? So, the wonderful School of Life has produced a short film: Should you stay or leave a relationship? Here is a checklist of questions to ask yourself before heading out too quickly - or too slowly. Is the grass really greener?